Changing me

I went in the hospital on Aug 9 and stayed until the 16th for a suicide attempt. Since getting out, I have changed my life  quite a bit. I found a new psychiatrist, have only seen my therapist twice, quit my group therapy, moved out of my parent's house, and quit my job.  It amazes me how much better I feel about myself and the world around me.

Every step I have taken since quitting my job has made me feel stronger. I start team teaching the 4 year old Sunday School class at church this weekend and start volunteering at CareNet next month. I am, for maybe the first time in my life, doing things that I want to do, simply because I want to do them.

My faith is still on the rocks but getting better. I bought the Message version of the Bible and it really does help me understand the passages I have ound difficult with the New King James Version.

I have been reading for pleasure more than ever. Yes I am job hunting, both online and in person; however, when I take breaks I have been reading to calm my nerves about surviving financially until I get another job. Right now, I am working on 2 different books: the first is the recollections of survivors of the Vietnam War and the battles they saw from thier own perspective, the second is Stephan King's latest 11/22/63. So when I get bored with one (or too horrified by the truth), I just switch to the other.

I really haven't watched TV at all since I have moved. I have watched a few made for TV movies (2) but that is it. Strangely, I don't miss it. My mom still records 19 Kids and Counting for me to watch when I come home to visit but the times I have come over there hasn't been time to watch.

I really should go to bed...I have a doctor's appt at 8 am tomorrow, followed by dropping off an application for employment, a stop by the old job to deliever birthday presents, and another dr. appt at 2pm. Not real sure what I will be doing between delievering the gifts and the 2nd doctor's appointment.

I will go for now. Write more later.